I feel ugly. My hair is ugly. My skin is ugly. My body is ugly.
Everything is changing and I hate it. My hair has changed. My skin has changed. My body has changed. My face has changed.
I hate that I have no one to talk to who will understand what I'm going through.
I hate the awkwardness it creates whenever I talk about it.
I hate when people smile and try to be cheerleaders when I express the frustration I feel.
I hate going to appointments alone.
I hate trying person after person for a ride when I'm done.
I hate that I constantly have to ask for help.
I hate that it feels like more than half the people who offered help when they found out about me only did so for show.
I hate that some of my friends have disappeared off the face of the earth since I got sick.
It's the ugly side of the cancer experience. Fucking cancer.